Smokers

Smokers.

How many can they be ?

You can’t possibly know if you can categorize one person as a smoker because he lights up a cigarette every two months on special occasions.

Now, I’m talking about real smokers. The ones who, once their alarm clock ring, jump off their bed to smoke the cigarette they had prepared on their nightstand the night before. No time to eat something or have the usual toilets moment of the morning. Nope. No time for that. The smoker consider that the morning cigarette is the best one.. No wait. It’s perhaps the one of the morning break, or perhaps after lunch... «Well, all of them are the best !»

All of them, the smokers says ? Then how many are there in a day ?
If we still focus on the real smokers, it must be a pack or two in a day, and yet, it doesn’t seem too much. But the price - oh my gosh, THE PRICE ! - he feels it !
Oh well.. it’s all right, he just has to eat pasta at every meal, and I think he will starts saving for the packs.
Can you imagine a smoker at the birth of his child ?

«Hey kiddo, listen.. I prefer to warn you now : crappy schools, no way for university, and you’ll buy yourself your clothes and food, all right ? Daddy’s got to buy his cigarettes packs to not be depressed and not to be violent towards you."

I can see from here the one-day baby frowning at its father.

Let’s go back to what I said just before.
Depressed ? Why would he be depressed ?
The smoker thinks a cigarette is the best way to calm himself down. All this crap of occidental medicine for depressed people centered around drugs like Xanax or Zoloft. What’s that crap ?! He thinks that a pack and a lighter are the most simple base of a cure against depression. Soon, it becomes an excuse.

" Listen sweetie, I’m not feeling well, I’ll go light one up... No, it has nothing to deal with you breaking my balls because I didn’t put the plates at the right place in the drawer.. I assure you.»

That’s right...

It has also nothing to deal with what his wife has found in this exact same drawer. Five cartons of cigarettes. Smokers can be easily compared to drug addicts. They hide their stash in case of emergency. What emergency needs that kind of stash ?
Oh well... The smoker can find many excuses :
- Imagine tobacco becomes illegal ?! [crappy excuse]
- You’ve got to foresee the unexpected !
But he would answer more often : Just in case...

Yeah. Just in case he wants to freeze outside during Winter time because he can’t smoke inside in front of his children.. especially because it’s Christmas time and they’re all gathered in the living room, opening presents like the excited and adorable kids they are... Daddy already got his present : the amount of snow falling on his head while he tries to light up his cancer stick on the porch.

If Daddy’s still not convinced that smoking is a bad thing to do, perhaps that the drawing his kid offers him after a day of school, representing him alone with a giant cigarette, coughing smiling with yellow teeth, dark rings under the eyes, red nose because of the cold outside. No one around him except his cigarette which puts its arm around his shoulders like an old friend. Well yeah... an old friend.
Inseparable friends.