A day in the life of an Internet addict.

I know I tend to focus more on people who 'suffer' from addiction, but what can I say, there's so much to talk about...
I decided to concentrate here on Internet addicted people. And I admit, I am also one of them. Perhaps one of billions too.
We cannot say it's being called a 'geek' or perhaps it is...
Anyway, they're some ways to find out if you really are an Internet addict.
First of all, it just starts with the goal in mind to JUST check your mails.

It seems innocent and totally harmless.

Imagine, on a Sunday, at 10 A.M, a man just woke up, took breakfast and got ready. They had planned a day in a park with his family, but just before his kids, his wife and himself go spend their day outside, he decides to check his emails. 15 minutes spent.
At 10.15 A.M, he decides to just check on Facebook (innocently) if there was any messages or events organized... Then he starts to feel trapped. For any reasons, he, like any of us do, start to check all his friends' profiles... He just can't help it.

“Just to check if pictures from the last party was put on Facebook, honey ! I swear it won't take long... Oh look ! John changed his profile picture ! Oh God, he looks so wasted on it... and look honey ! He's friends with Barbara ! Do you remember Barbara, from last week's party ? I should ask her to be my friend... no honey.. I swear it doesn't have to do with her breasts size.. I really had a deep conversation with her last week.. She was telling me she worked in... in...well I'll still request her as my friend...”

Changing our profile picture every day, 'liking' every comments, puting L.O.L on each comments, tagging a hundred of people on a f****** useless picture about who we love the most...
Absurd but we all do that. At least, some of us do.

At 11.30 A.M, his wife and kids are already gone outside, waiting for him to meet him at the park. But then the man just close the window to replace it with Twitter, JUST IN CASE !
Oh gosh Twitter.

What's the point in this ?

Oh yes ! Reading the new tweets of Leo DiCaprio about sharks and dolphins... AMAZING !
What's next ?
The tweets of Lord Voldemort that have, I admit, the power to make people laugh just by saying, “I could be Sue Sylvester's BFF”.
Anyway, except for saying you ate an apple an hour ago or by saying simply :

“BRB.I gotta pee.”

What's the point ?
To be honest, the social network which seems to be the most idiotic of all of them is perhaps Tumblr.
Nobody can understand it.
But everybody has a Tumblr.

“This image was rebbloged 2.000 of times...”

Okay. Cool.

At 2 P.M, after 2 and a half hours of reading Alec Baldwin's & Steve Martin's tweets, he remembers that his colleague had sent him the YouTube link of a funny video on Facebook. So, he goes back to Facebook and watch the video on YouTube.
YouTube. What can be more addictive than that ?
You harmlessly watch a video of a cat watching TV or of the new clip of The Lonely Islands. Then you see the list of videos related to the video you're watching, and you feel the need to watch them, and it turns into an infinite circle...

“Oh so funny !! 'I Just Had Sex' of The Lonely Islands !! Oh they did one with Lady Gaga !!! I gotta watch this... Oh for christ sake, 'Jizz In My Pants' is hilarious...”

At 6 P.M, after watching videos of clips, of Zach Galifianakis interviewing celebrities, of Charlie Sheen's 'winning' buzz... his wife & kids finally arrive home.

“YOU SPENT THE ENTIRE DAY ON THE INTERNET ?? Oh God... You're really insufferable.. you couldn't just spend the day with me and the kids ? Shame on you... Now, go take care of the kids, Jane sent me this link of a private-sale shopping online.. I gotta see that...”

BAM !

Birds of a feather flock together... Anyway, this man spent a nice day after all and he learnt a bunch of things :

His friend John had sex with a prostitute last week.
Craig Ferguson is spending the week in Paris.
A cat can be really scary.
The weather is nice in Moscow.

And oh look ! He learnt that his wife was at a wild office party a month ago... Some pictures of her, half naked, dancing on a table had be taken... Nice.
I gotta say we learn tasteful things thanks to the Internet.

Thank you Mark Zuckerberg. Thank you Internet.